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soundtrack

soundtrack                
My life is so much better with a constant soundtrack of music flowing. Walking around school with my headphones on puts me in a relaxed, confident, comfortable state that I don’t feel without them. Walking around without them I feel exposed and meek and small. Today I’ve placed a positive spin on the entire world around me just by building my own personal soundtrack of comfort and happy vibes. It’s as if I’ve been holding my breath all this time and can finally let it all slowly out, washing away all that tension I’ve been holding onto. Sadly though, all of the anxiety comes rushing right back as soon as I get to class and shut the music off.

The Tuesday Experiment

The Tuesday Experiment                

I decided last week to try something new. Since the semester started, I’ve spent much of my 2 days a week off up at school trying to get all my work done because it’s been harder to focus at home. I did this especially for the couple of weeks of nonstop construction at the bottom of my driveway. There’s still construction on the other side of our street, but there’s less of it and it isn’t interfering with my life as much as it was. Getting my work done is a great thing, but I have other goals, and I hadn’t been working towards them at all. So last week I made the decision that if I’m going to do things like run more miles, I’m going to need at least one day off a week. A day to myself, to both get my homework done and work toward other goals. To work at my own comfortable, relaxed pace, without so many looming deadlines or strict times I need to be finished.

This is week two of Tuesday being mine. I ran 2 extra miles after taking my daughter to school. I’m getting ready to run some errands with a happy smile on my face for a fast mile that broke my recent best time. After that, I’ll come home and do some homework. Maybe even find time for a nap. Maybe exercise some more. Maybe do something completely different. The point is, I’m making Tuesdays about my own personal wellness. Getting my work done reduces my stress level, but it also leaves me feeling like I’m leaving so many other things unfinished. Thursdays if I need to, I can go to school to study, or just sit here until it’s all done. But today is just for me.

How do you make time for yourself in your busy schedule?

Thoughts on Meditation

Thoughts on Meditation                

I often feel like I have the most success with meditation when it has been awhile. What I mean by that is, when meditating on a regular basis I feel like I start just going through the motions. I don’t go deep under, I don’t stay nearly as focused. Don’t get me wrong, even when it has been months and I feel deeply engrossed in the moment, I am still thinking about how school is starting soon, and when my daughter will be home, and what if the doorbell rings because I am not getting up to get it. Or wondering if that email I heard come through a few minutes ago was telling me that my super awesome flat iron shipped. Or thinking about the anime the music I am listening to came from, and wondering why I didn’t put those other new songs we got on my tablet yet because they would have made a good addition to my yoga playlist. I don’t know if I will ever have a day when I can completely block everything out and just relax and breathe and be during meditation. But I do know that the more of an every once in awhile occasion I make it, the more I am able to block out, and the more absolutely blissful the moment becomes.